Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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