My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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