This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
