Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
