I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
