Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
