I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
