oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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