Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
