there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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