do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
