I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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