So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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