just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
