it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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