He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
