In the future we'll all be gay
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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