There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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