Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
