We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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