you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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