how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
