D3 body, D1 cock
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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