you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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