He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
