Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
