I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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