look no pants
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
