Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
