why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
