two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
