Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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