Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
