Plan B is the new Plan A
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
