i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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