somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
