so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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