we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
