In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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