Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
