I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
