Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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