we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
