glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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