Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
