Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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