In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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