you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
