You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
