You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
