Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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