The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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