my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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