She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize