I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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