butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
