Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
