chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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