I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
