Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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