Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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