She's JV to your varsity
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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