I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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